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Minor Surgery

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2009, 7:02 AM

The shots hurt.
A.
Lot.

I didn't get to watch, and all I felt was some tugging and heard some snipping.
It's very, very numb right now
And the bandage around it is red.
My foot is yellow with iodine
And I am stuffed with cookies.

Life could be worse.

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Skin by =Night-Beast (modified by =LuneLis)

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 11, 2009, 1:10 PM
Ne, if it should happen that I lose all but my life.

Would I still be worth more than 350 dollars?

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Shattering

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 9, 2009, 7:49 PM

It's painful, to realize that everything you hold in your hands, breaks and shatters, while not only forever being broken into dust and slipping away forever, but also cutting your hands so deeply, you'll never be rid of the scars.

I'm losing my grip,
on them
on her
on that
on this

It's too frightening to imagine losing these things.
But it's reality, that everything will change, and everyone will leave me.
Even the people I've never had the chance to meet or know they exist.


she see's a mirror of herself, an image she wants to sell, to anyone willing to buy...


It's breaking
It's broken
I'm sad... I feel so alone.
I may reach her through wires, but I would give the ability to walk, to be able to cry while holding onto her hand for the life of me.

And you know, I'd willingly give up everything I have, if I had proof that somewhere in the world, there was somebody who could love me, a person with no looks and a bittersweet personality, that many people don't ever wish to see through.
As much of a cold stone that I am
I am still human
and I still feel that desire, to be wanted, and needed, and loved.


:iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondivider2plz::iconcuteicondivider2plz:

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Life, is good.

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 8, 2009, 12:37 PM

Hopefully I don't jinx it.

1. Got myself some replacement headphones.
2. Got my scanner back (and scanned a bunch of new things)
3. Took my quiz; and even if I go poorly, 1 more point will push me to a B- or better.
4. Saved up $14

But there is some bad

1. I have an infection on my toe because the nail got ripped off ~__~ painful.
2. My ears are raw in a few places
3. I still have homework to do and it's Sunday afternoon

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Venting

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 5, 2009, 1:44 PM
I wish I was at home, someplace in the future, with Anshin already.
I really wish I had someone to hug and bleed my heart out to.

I'm really glad I have someone who understands,
even if she's a million miles northeast of here.


Ne ne, if I became a stone, would it hurt anyless?
Or would it hurt more, because I would be stuck forever in the same place, unable to move, while the whole word eroded me to dust?


It's very hard for me to talk. I can't get out the words, and I feel like such a fool whenever I stutter or slip on a word. It's better to remain silent.
Even when the noises around me are driving me to insanity; like a drill locking a screw into a block of wood.

I can't help but think, "if i say something, they'll call me a liar, or that i whine too much." As long as I'm silent, no one can say I'm lying right?
Like my grades, if I mention my C more than once, they'll give me a look that says "ungrateful bitch, you have other a's, be content!" It doesn't seem like they'd care even if they knew, that that C on my report card, makes me feel like such a failure. I don't have that much, even if people think I do. They look at my computer and married parents and lunch money, and grades, and drawings, and think I am very blessed.

But, if I could, I would trade it away for something else.
I only have those grades, those A's, they're my future. They're what people at colleges and workplaces will see and think, "my, what a smart girl!" that C... they will see that grade, and think badly.
I feel like I've failed.
And what makes it worse, is no matter what grades I get, I'm called out for. I'm either too smart or suddenly a center of ridicule because i didn't get top score. They abuse me, but then beg for my help, my papers, for their own selfishness.

People are so two-faced.
Whenever I wish for silence, for solitude, for peace, there's someone with a passion to destroy it. But when I want someone to pick me to be their partner for something in class, I am left to make an odd group, or forced to work by myself.
It's so noisy, little noises, big noises, voices and sounds everywhere. They never shut up, never quiet down, like it's impossible for them to stop moving their bodies, their hands, their vocal cords.
And it makes my head throb in so much pain, I have to fight back tears.
but if i say something to make the noise quit, they call me a liar.
Any injury, suddenly is a lie.
Like I can't feel pain unless I'm bleeding and screaming.

Then with this, comes that feeling of being so selfish.
I don't care what people think, but still, if they think something, they definitely won't let me be alone.

I wish I were stardust
Brilliant, beautiful, small, and forever fleeting, but always the same, because dust is what is left of something else.

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Skin by =Night-Beast (modified by =LuneLis)

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Art for me :heart:

Shoutbox

=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
>u<
Wed Aug 26, 2009, 10:19 PM
*SuiginTwo:iconSuiginTwo:
Nyo ! ^-^
Wed Aug 26, 2009, 9:43 AM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
내게로와
Thu Aug 6, 2009, 7:46 PM
~count2three:iconcount2three:
lol you sucker booger
Thu Aug 6, 2009, 2:31 PM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
☆※★○☆【『ⓐ♤
Thu Jul 23, 2009, 11:49 AM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
樂園幻想物語組曲
Tue Jul 14, 2009, 1:56 AM
=psion005:iconpsion005:
Me--->:alien::abduction:<---You
Mon Jul 13, 2009, 12:35 AM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
Sun Jul 12, 2009, 11:54 AM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
난 당신없이 헤멜거야
Thu Jul 9, 2009, 11:48 PM
=LuneLis:iconLuneLis:
愛するときは、そのために何かをしたくなるものです。犠牲を払いた&#x304F
Sat Jul 4, 2009, 12:01 AM

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